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I just watched Alone in the Dark which was aired on the Sci-Fi channel and couldn’t beleive the mess it was in. It started off with a bit of a background story then just went all guns blazzing into no-where. After the onset I failed to understand where the film was going and what the hell they wanted to do with it.

Which brings me to Uwe Boll, if he can make such a mess and then on the wiki page for him, I noticed a petition for his retirement. clearly he is the cause of the problem for so many gamers and viewing fans.

He has to retire so can those people who haven’t already signed please do so. So we can get him away from a job he is clearly useless at.

Please sign the – petitiononline.com – Stop Dr. Uwe Boll

Again another film based on a computer game hits the bit screen and from the trailer leading into the film there is death, darkness and blood. There is an underlining religious ideal which is loosely based on Christian ideal of end of days. Thus being darkness has come in the form of mutants that so happen to come from a spaceship.

Why would an advance civilization go so backwards is another look at this film. Take what we have now, computers, internet, mobile systems and minimization technology. Being as the film is set far into the future I can predict right now, when that time comes it will look nothing like what is predicted in this film. In fact the film looks rather like World War 2. Same clothing, furniture and more or less the same out-look with lots of rain.

So as the film takes you through its journey while slowly killing every character off in a battle for survival. You begin to wonder where they are going with this. Well it so happens they decide to send the mutants to Mars.
So after sitting through two hours of blood, guts and bad satire which does make you laugh at times. You have to go with what rating to give a film of this level. Well, the graphics were good, the acting was, so so… and the ending left you feeling as if they want to make another piece of crap like this!

2 out of 5.

I was doing a spot of gardening yesterday and spotted this apple which I thought looked rather female!

Well I decided to enter the competition with Honey & Stilton as my flavour and I added an image of a bumble-bee. I thought it would of been a nice blend of crisps a strong dairy sweet flavour. So please rate my idea.

When you think of comedy action you are hoping for a lot of explosions and laughter. The effects were okay, but the laughter value seemed rather low. There is bad acting then there is acting bad! This seemed like both to me. Tom Cruise was a bit of a laugh, Jack Black didn’t add any of his joke value to the film and Ben Stiller who was on main lead just seemed to end up playing the jackass of his own pathetic creation.

The storyline of creating a film in a film with fake acting then trying to say certain things are real seemed all wayward. This process of dodgy acting mixed with a bad script, explosions you have seen before all end up making a pile of dog-poop. Clearly Ben Stiller has run out of good ideas.

1.5 out of 5.